Several years ago, I was contacted by a Parsi acquaintance based in Bombay who shared with me a document titled ‘Eighty-four things not to do in Bombay.’ For individuals new to the vibrant city of Bombay, adhering to these guidelines is imperative. It is advised for newcomers to refrain from addressing a police officer as Pandu, a BEST bus driver as Bablia, or a Maharashtrian individual as Bhaiya. Bombay boasts a unique vernacular, a fascinating blend of languages including Hindi, Gujarati, Marathi, Parsi, and a sprinkle of other dialects.
Linguistically, Bombay is undeniably cosmopolitan, standing out among Indian cities in this aspect. Where else would you encounter terms like ‘cutting’ chai (referring to half a glass of tea), kalti marna (to leave), bhidu (a friendly term for a companion), gayela, khayela, khaali-peeli (needlessly), jhakaas (fantastic), bhankas (worthless), and more, popularized by Sanjay Dutt and Arshad Warsi in the movie Munna Bhai M.B.B.S.?
I recall a peculiar incident while strolling through Bhendi Bazaar. Pausing at a shop to peruse old Urdu magazines, accustomed to the respectful terms ‘aap’ and ‘janaab,’ I was taken aback when the shopkeeper addressed me as ‘Bhai sahab, tum ko bolela hai, ekach keemat’ (Hey, I’ve already told you, the price is fixed). This unexpected colloquialism startled me to the point of nearly fainting; I hastily departed without making a purchase, fearing further linguistic surprises or innovations.
Expressions like ‘Nikal patli gali se’ (get out of the narrow lane), ‘hawa aane de’ (let the air pass), ‘kidhar ku jayenga, woh soyela hai’ (where are you headed, that’s a sleepy place) might bewilder newcomers to the city. Unbeknownst to many, the Sandaas (toilet) Road railway station on the harbor line is colloquially referred to as Sandhurst, relegating Baron Sandhurst to the realm of lavatories. This transition from eminence to obscurity is quite remarkable.
Sandhurst in the UK is renowned for the Royal Military Academy. An Indian General who graduated from Sandhurst once penned a plea in The Illustrated Weekly, urging the Bombay Municipal Authority to rename the road as he found it deeply disrespectful to his alma mater.
In Bombay, encountering a Koli woman (a fisherwoman) on a suburban train can provide an instant crash course in colorful language. Truck drivers visiting Bombay might inadvertently receive an education in colorful expletives from Koli women. These verbal onslaughts could be overwhelming for the faint-hearted. Initially perturbed by informal pronouns like ‘tu’ or ‘tum,’ I eventually acclimatized to the linguistic vibrancy of Bombay and began conversing in the local Bombaite style. Throughout its history, Bombay has been a melting pot of rustic charm and sophistication. Let’s not overlook the fact that renowned poets like Sahir Ludhianvi, Majrooh Sultanpuri, Kaifi Azmi, and Shakeel Badayuni penned their masterpieces in this bustling metropolis.