Petit Ermitage Hotel has been known to host A-list celebrities over the years, but its recent attention has nothing to do with its star-studded visitor list or beautiful rooftop pool.
Instead, the luxury West Hollywood hotel has gained attention for sassing guests who leave negative reviews online.
An average of 1623 reviews gives the hotel an “excellent” rating of 4.5 out of 5, yet it still has about 120 one and two-star reviews from dissatisfied guests.
On these, people have found delight in the owner’s creative replies to complaints and criticism.
In one review, a customer said you should not stay if you have children and rated the sleep quality 2 out of 5.
The owner, who refers to himself as “The Monarch, Innkeeper at Petite Ermitage”, responded: “We very much sympathise. Sleep and children do not go. But soon they will be off to college and you can reclaim all those hours lost. Stay strong.”
In another one-star review, someone claimed the food was terrible: “I ordered the fried chicken sandwich and it was truly inedible. I could not finish it. It had zero taste.” They said they would prefer a Popeyes sandwich, referencing a chain-restaurant item.
Not one to be discouraged by criticism, the Monarch said they “could only aspire to the culinary heights of the Popeyes sandwich”.
Another complained the hotel restaurant was listed on Open Table, an online reservation service, but when they showed up the eatery wasn’t taking bookings.
The Monarch responded, saying it was “an outrage” and suggested a “prankster” at Open Table was messing with the customer.
“We shall not rest until we find this individual. Okay, maybe that’s a stretch. Our beds here are extremely comfortable and I’ve read a lack of sleep can inhibit one’s productivity so we probably will rest at some point,” they wrote, before inviting the person to dine free on their next visit.
When someone fumes about additional fees, the Monarch offers a deadpan yet hilarious response: “Damn those hidden charges (also known as Taxes & Resort Fee) that are so hidden you’d almost certainly miss them if you didn’t read your confirmation email.”
During a two-star review, a guest claims their celebratory stay was ruined by the staff’s bad attitudes, a long wait time for dinner and a faulty fireplace. However, the “nail in the coffin” was a sock they found under their bed.
In response, the Monarch writes: “We apologise profusely for the experience you had with us. It sounds like it really socked.”
One influencer pulled no punches when complaining about the hotel, stating it was “not influencer friendly” because they were “ignored by the staff” and told them to stop taking photos on the rooftop.
At first, the Monarch’s response appeared to be deeply apologetic. “At this juncture, we would like to apologise on behalf of our staff for ignoring you,” they wrote.
Yet, things then took a classically comical turn when they explained the guest probably stayed during the hotel’s “bi-monthly Stuck Up Day where the more we love a guest, the more we ignore them”.
The Monarch suggests they also visit during other themed days such as “You Can Take Pictures By The Pool But Only of Your Least Redeeming Feature Day (hugely popular in the Influencers Who Want a Dose of Reality community)”.
Scrolling back through the reviews, they seemed stock-standard and sincere until 2022, when the Monarch and their comical replies appeared.